‘Don’t be beastly to the Germans’, learn from them.

The misguided vilification of Germany and Germans over Ukraine

Speaking to some Germans? Don’t mention the war! Every Brit recognises that slightly tongue in cheek scenario. However recent events mean that one might actually ask ‘which war is that’? Military conflicts past and present have divided our two countries. The Fawlty Towers episode ‘The Germans’, which firmly embedded ‘don’t mention the war’ into the British psyche, is the show’s most popular episode. What makes it so hysterically funny is that it ends with the bemused Germans baffled by the chaos around them and wondering how on earth Britain could have won the war! It’s also the most popular episode of the series in Germany, despite the goose stepping Hitler impressions or perhaps even because of them. Contrary to what many Brits believe the Germans do have a sense of humour, especially when it comes to laughing at themselves.

Having a German mother, being a German National and visiting Germany around four times a year, I do have some insight into that country and its people. The Germans, as I have experienced them, are warm, always up for a laugh, often self deprecating and idolise the Brits! It never fails to astound me just how obsessed Germans are with Britain, its culture, its politics and its royal family. There was also a misunderstanding about the German reaction to Brexit. The predominant response was sadness at losing a friend from their club. Of course, as in the UK, there is a growing chasm between  ‘elites’ and so called ‘ordinary working people.’ Like here, there’s a left wing increasingly woke media bias. There is also truth in the stereotype that southern Germans especially Bavarians are gregarious whilst their northern siblings are more buttoned up.

What you also need to understand about the Germans is that they are deeply scarred by war. These are hereditary and cultural scars that are as omnipresent as the incisions on their staple sourdough bread and the bubbles in their beer. Last Friday 28 German intellectuals and cultural figures wrote an open letter to Chancellor Scholtz speaking out against the decision of the Bundestag to send heavy weapons to Ukraine. They warn of the risk of world war 3 and plead for all efforts to be put into finding a diplomatic solution. There are even many more outright pacifists in Germany than in the UK. Surely that it is understandable. However the UK media understands it not. Moreover many in our mainstream press not only misunderstand the German character but have recently evoked a near hatred of Germany and its people. One could be forgiven for feeling as though Britain was once again at war with Germany.

‘It is too early to say who will win the war in Ukraine, but one nation has already suffered a catastrophic loss of prestige: Germany’ declares Daniel Johnson in the Telegraph. This is one of a dozen Telegraph articles in the last month solely dedicated to vilifying Germany. Johnson’s article labels the ‘German elite’ as ‘arrogant, incompetent and corrupt’. He focuses near exclusively on Germany’s past sins regarding their close relations with Russia. It’s hard to argue that huge mistakes were made, especially in the reliance on Russian oil and gas. However is it really helpful to pontificate on German sympathies for Russia going back to a German 18th century Princess becoming Tsarina Catherine the Great? Never have the words ‘we are where we are’ been more apt.

   Another ‘stand out’ attack piece by Daniel Johnson for the Telegraph had him fuming ‘This war is a shameful episode in German history . . .’ Again I can’t help feeling he’s subconsciously channelling the anger from the last century’s great wars. This is especially evident as he keeps focusing on Zelenskyy’s Jewishness and makes several inappropriate Holocaust references. ‘The bitterest pill of all to swallow for a German audience was to be told by a Jew that their fine words about the Holocaust, not least at Babyn Yar in Ukraine, the site of Nazi massacres, were “worthless.”’ Call me old fashioned but defining people solely in terms of being Jewish could be seen as problematic. Zelenskyy is also a millionaire actor. Yet somehow that never comes up in the mainstream media and neither do the Nazis whom Zelenskyy tolerates as a key part of the Ukraine army. Johnson’s article also almost makes it sound as if the Bundestag’s major sin was not to be more moved by Zelenskyy’s speech. The applause was not enthusiastic enough, tears were not shed in sufficient abundance and Chancellor Scholtz had the temerity to mention ‘diplomacy’.

   A love of the ‘D word’ is apparently now Germany’s great failing. Yet again this betrays a total ignorance of the nation and its psychology. Although foreign minister Baerbock’s Green Party and their coalition partners the FDP have been critical of Scholtz’s hesitancy on Ukraine, she has also called for ‘creativity and pragmatism.’ Pragmatism is a philosophical movement that attempts to get to the truth in a non-idealistic way in order to achieve real-world solutions. In academic terms it has been most strongly associated with American thinkers but as a real world social trait it is heavily associated with Germany. It is also often referred to as German efficiency, which has produced its famous reliable cars and relentlessly competent institutions. However ‘pragmatism’ is not a mainstream media popular concept when it comes the West’s handling of this Ukraine crisis.

   ‘Olaf Scholz must choose between an energy embargo on Russia, or a moral embargo on Germany . . .’ says Evans Pritchard. He and many more in Britain may agree with this assumed moral superiority but it is childishly naïve. The cost of an immediate cessation of all Russian energy imports would be a hit to the German economy that would ripple out into the EU and beyond. The world doesn’t need another source of economic pain. This is why German energy companies such as Uniper are pragmatically paying Euros into Gasprombank who then convert this to Rubles and pay Russia. It is worth noting that Hungary and Slovakia have also adopted this EU sanction avoiding method. Austria and Italian company Eni are likewise looking to do so. But the attacks remain focused on Germany.

  It is also clear that after two years of harsher longer lockdowns than in UK many German people will just not accept more suffering. Even before the Ukraine crisis there had been long-standing festering civil disquiet. Anti lockdown demonstrations, often violently squashed, had been regular and widespread throughout the pandemic. This has even prompted ongoing high level debate about the limits of the right to protest under the German constitution. In a recent poll by main German news outlet ARD, 45% of Germans disagreed with sending heavy weapons to Ukraine. 40% also wanted less military involvement generally. I in 5 Germans wanted no reduction at all in Russian gas and oil imports, with 54% only agreeing with a gradual reduction. One must also remember that the ‘non virtue signalling’ answer is always underrepresented in such polls. The considerable German hostility to conflict escalation is clear. This can be seen by the barrage of condemnatory responses to Chancellor Scholtz’s tweet pledging more military support to Ukraine. One such response, with several thousand likes, asked him why the Germans devastated by the floods in July 2021 were still waiting for financial support when millions could be sent to Ukraine in a flash. A common theme of the responses was that Germans wanted their immediate needs to be put first. Many reminded the Chancellor of his sworn oath to do just this, tweeting the words at him.

‘I swear that I will dedicate my efforts to the well-being of the German people, promote their welfare, protect them from harm [. . .]’

It could be argued that helping Ukraine is indeed looking after the security of Germans in the wider context of global security. But certainly some would argue that bottomless support is just prolonging an inevitable defeat whilst risking nuclear Armageddon. Furthermore if you are struggling to pay even basic expenses like maintaining a car or buying your kids clothes, that significantly colours your outlook. Many Brits are struggling in a similar way. It is therefore surely only a matter of time before the disquiet felt by many Germans spreads here. After all we many be different in many ways, but both the Brits and the Germans care about their families, their businesses and not being taken for a ride by their politicians.

Reading vicious anti German comments in response to those newspaper articles attacking not just German policy but the German character has hit me hard. I grew up watching and loving popular 80s sitcom Allo Allo in which all nationalities are hilariously mocked. The English airmen are posh fools, the Italian officer a ludicrous womaniser, the Germans are scheming pantomime villains and even the plucky French resistance are hapless idiots. In fact everyone is a bit of an idiot. It is good natured mickey-taking that radiates warmth and affection for national traits and sometimes silly quirks. Would that we could get back to that. We could both do with the laughs and the old fashioned concept of learning from each other.